Here’s a snippet from my WIP. It’s the third book in my Hidden Lines series. Chloe is talking with her best friend Naomi.
“I found an old letter I wrote to my mom.” I stare down into my Earl Grey latte and try not to let my emotions run away with me. My mom ditched me when I was ten. I found her a few months ago, only to have her reject me again. Good times. This time, I had vowed not to give up on her, though.
“From when?”
“I was sixteen.”
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I feel sorry for her. Sounds like her mom isn’t worth her time or energy.
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Like the snark–and sadness–of the thought ‘good times.’ It really sums up her feelings.
Only I’m not sure you meant for the repetition of following it with “This time…” It caught my attention, and it might catch someone else’s distracting them from a really emotional moment.
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Good catch. Good thing it’s my WIP so I can still fix it. 🙂 Thanks.
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Sometimes it’s better to give up on people who obviously don’t want you in their life.
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It is so difficult when it’s family that hurts you so deeply. She doesn’t just get to walk away though–I’m mean to my characters that way. 😉
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Katya,
You managed to pack a lot of emotion and a big story in very few words. Great job!
~Carole
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Thanks, Carole! How are you doing these days?
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